So I met this Person, and we met under unlikely circumstance. It' when you'v ebeen looking at your life through a telescope, only focusin gone on thething s that will progress your knowlege to look further. Then I would find happiness when I'd find the answers to my questions.
WhenI went out that night I took my eye from the telescope and experienced the joys pf the ground that I was on. I found myself to be happier and more confident thenI had ever been. I thought if I focused on certain things I would get my certain result. This as it sounds never tested me. This person was amazing I felt like I could trust her when she first spoke to me and therewas kindness to her eyes. Later on those eyes began to say different things. I met up with her at a coffe place to see if I would like her beyond that night. Would I like her personality. It was a struggle I felt luke shes was there but was too shy. It took taking a walk and laying on the grass to look at the stars for her to finally open up to me. I got the feeling that she didn't quite understand whoshe was yet but that didn't bother me. I focused on how this person wasnext to me listening to me and laughting at ny jokes. I felt so valuable, something I 've always wanted in life to not be that idiot I have always been but someone of value, of value to someone else. She made me laugh, I was so happy.
The next time we met was at the aqurium, that day was amazing. I wasn't even focusing on the animals, just her her, This was aginst the person I had cultivated for so many years the person who wanted to always ask questions was just looking at this creature in wonder. She seemed more intrigued by the animals, this made me focus on my lonlinnes by looking at the agressive weather of scotland. I found myself more sad than happy here was this person, who I had questions to ask but she was more preoccupied by answering the school questionnaire. she didn't really ask questiosn. Funny enough that night went well, I don;t know if it was the situiation or the possibilty in her head itching at her but we held hands in a dark forest, a guarente that we were safe in this dark setting or the acceptance that we both liked each other. sHe had thi mentality of evening things out. I would pay for something,she would pay it bqck in another way, it was both indering and annoying, it felt like we we're scales from both ends. Now I sound like a dick, right?
Now wew were comfortable with each other we went to an outdoor play it was great and scary, it was more fun than I had expected. she had her arms around around mine and I felt safe and at home. that night I took her ti the law and told her I liked her and wanted to kiss her. I was wan't prepared but it felt right. I made efforts of kindness and my attempts seemed futile but it seemed to work when she asked if /i liked her. I paused for a while. I told her that since being with her I felt more confident and happier. Didi this come from meeting this personor did I alwys ahve the abilities and tools to make myself more confident and happier?
The next time we met was at the halloween party, I though she looked great in her costune, she was so much more confident in this party scence then she had ever been with me. I told my sekf that I knew the real her. guus were talking to heer and she was speaking with such confidense. I was a bit jelous but when I went to the loo in her room she followed me and we kissed and I knew that I was right that I knew the real her, the person behind th mask. However she seemed to be another personwhen she was with other perople and she didn't want the idea of us to be exposed to her friends. This hurt deeply. She seeemed to accpet me but not enough.
We next met to watch a film at my place it was great just being together just me and her, work didn't seem to be the most valuablr thingin this world anymore. We kissed and we got close she had brought a book called: a book for me you and us.I found this to be the the reason that I accepted that we was a thing now. It signified so much to me.
She hsf to leave that night to clean her room for inspection. I walked her back and stayed at herd for the night in those moments it felt like this was how it was always supposed to be to have this person in my life although she complained about my feminie attributes I didn't care, I felt so happy. I walked her to to her uni in the mornin. I felt like we were couple. We weremeant to be this is what I deserved, but the worlddoesn't cultivate things that nedd to be desered but just needed. Do you change to or you stay a romantic.
Later that day I came over with contact lense solution. had brought a book to study but ended up dropping it to kiss her. I felt like we belonged I kept seeing my picture and not the full what was she thinking what did she want. I had left my book.
The next time we metshe gave back my book and and the love I had began to grow for her she said that there was nother guy from her past she just wanyed a way out from th e commitment I was to offer. It's unfortunate because I wany=ted to explore andquestion but she wasn't .I can't understand I was too good of a thing. If ever I met the joker this was a scenario tha reflect his naturrre chaotic and witout a reson that I can't comprehend. She made her joice. I can't wait if I do I'm left behinf I have to run to stay a head and I prefer the dying light till fidn a stiong enough campfire. I will alwys accept the magic and the possibilities I will keep the flame alight I amliving.
